Cultural Distinctions of Chinese and American Families—Analysis of the Movies Pushing Hands & Everybody’s Fine (4)

3.3 Educational Differences

When talking on family culture, we must take education into account, because it is education makes a person who he is and what he will be like. Then individuals get together and build up families. Education has a very significant influence on family culture formation. If we want to find the cause of family cultural difference, we must investigate education value and attitude of each cultural system in China and America.

However, we seldom find obvious examples in the movies, but their life that had been formed cannot depart from education.

3.3.1 Purpose and Aim

In Pushing Hands, when the scene turns to the family dinner, little Jimmy wanted to watch TV, his mother told him to finish his meal first, but old Mr. Zhu insists that there should not be any alternatives: eating is eating! This reminds me that date back to old days, the Chinese civil service examination system makes high-school students struggle with college entrance examinations for gaining admission to universities, and many people regard the college entrance examination as the only opportunity of life transformations and self-destiny.

Confucius believed that serves as an official should have knowledge, since traditional idea about life purpose is to be an officer which has a deep rooted influence on Chinese culture and society. Positively speaking, Confucius provides with an idea that monopoly right should be oppressed at official nobility; from the negative respect, this may lead people to a utilitarianism road.

While Americans always take education out of personal interest, to learn usefulness is the purpose, to gain skills are the most essential thing. In Everybody’s Fine, David was a very talented boy on painting since he was young and he determined to be an artist someday. Frank, the father, was so proud of his son and gives the biggest support, finally, they were all paid off, David has his own atelier in New York and Frank was delighted to see his son’s achievement. It is quite clear that Americans pay more attention to applying general knowledge in practice, and then transform them into productive forces which is the reason that the United States’ economy would increase at a rapid speed.

The western idea on educating purpose set on the objective that the child should be trained to adapt to all kinds of circumstances and to be independent with survivability. Thus, American parents attach much importance on training their child since very young. They firmly believe that a child have to grow depend on their own. Therefore, form an independent consciousness started from their childhood. While independent viability dose not ingrained at birth, it costs efforts to practice, such as work practice, the strong will training, tolerance and endurance on hardship and so on.

But the most basic one is the ability to adept to all kinds of circumstances as well as working capability. Inuring to the independent environment will make child more self-support, which gradually forms a good habit to conquer all sorts of difficulties they may come across. Meanwhile in this procedure, children can find what they really interested and could cultivate their quality such as perseverance and dedication. When they grow up, such influences will benefit them to be a citizen have the ability to live independently, and sense of social responsibility.

Compare to America, China has a great difference on educating values and attitudes. Parents are expecting their children’s future success, get a good job and flow his/her life boat in smooth water. They think that to offer their children as much good support as possible represents they provide more responsibility they should have on their children, and the more happiness they give their children the more they feel they give better care to their children. In one word, if their children have a better life, they are willing to sacrifice at all costs. Under such a notion, what they concern most is whether their children do well on study, which indicating intelligence supreme. They allow their children nothing except reading books and attending classes. As for the ability to adept a new environment or independence, they seldom or even don’t consider at all. Thus, it is clear that china and America has a very different understanding about children’s education.

3.3.2 Contents

In the early 1970 of the 20th century, after analyzing the employees’ data provided by IBM, anthropologist Hofstede concluded four value dimensions, one of which is collectivism and individualism dimension, and is the most important one. Hofstede interpreted, in a individualism culture context, "I" consciousness prevailed: people are independent emotionally on family and other social organizations, therefore, it is one’s own business to choose one’s road, success or fail; while in the collectivism culture context, "We" consciousness prevails: individual is insignificant, while the “face” of family and collective interests are the first. As showed in Pushing Hands, when Mr. Zhu taught Tai Ji in the community, he wanted to show off in front of Mrs. Chen, instead he pushed so hard at his student that made him crashed onto the table where Mrs. Chen’s cooking class is on. Being embarrassed, Mr. Zhu apologized for his vanity and encourages all of his students to help Mrs. Chen tidy up table and chairs then the Tai Ji class started to make dumplings together with the cooking class. In this scene, we can see clearly that Mr. Zhu had made a mistake but all the near or far related people are all get involved in making up for his own fault, which is another normal difference between China and America. In China, no matter contribution or mistake, it will all owing to a group rather than an individual. However in the US, one should answer for what he does himself, whatever good or evil, even though in a team work, there must be a leader who should be praised or be punished. In Everybody’s Fine, all the children have a not-so-well life and their parents have no any responsibility for their faults and for their achievement, they were almost developing all by themselves.

In China, under the influence of Taoism and Buddhism, people are taught to pursuit inner peace and to be in harmony with the outside world. People correspond to the law of nature, interdependent with other and seek stability rather than change. Lao Zi ever said: No calamity is bigger than insatiable; no fault is greater than greedy. Be content with contentment is enough. This is mainly represents Chinese philosophy of life, which taught people against changes and transformations. This has deeply manacled people’s activeness, which resulted in a comparatively inflexible nation that lack of innovation.

While date back two more centuries, at that period, the colonial American people had to exploit the new land all by themselves. They had to fight for living, so history gave them a chance to be independent and liberal. Individualism means to pursue liberty and diversity. Americans like to develop a new style, set a new way, and therefrom emerge surprisingly success. Therefore, they have formed a liberal spirit that nothing stays forever.

3.3.3 Mode

The methods of family education are the concrete measure of education contents. The choices of which education methods are connected closely to a nation’s custom, culture and history. At the same time, it is restricted by education aims. Conversely, whether the parents can use the scientific education methods properly is connected to the realization of family education’s aims and contents.

Generally speaking, in American families, “parents mainly use an equal way to educate their children. They respect children’s personality and rights. Children, in the family, are treated as independent individuals. Parents and children are equal.” By comparison, Chinese family education’s methods lack of equality. Chinese parents don’t treat their children on the same level as themselves. Instead, parents stand for the elder generation and the children stand for younger generation.

American parents advocate the open education:

First, they pay attention to practical training, emphasis on training children in practice instead of preaching. In American’s opinion, if the children can do the work, let them do it. Through the process of doing the work, they can improve their recognition of things, accumulate experiences, master skills, enhance capacities, develop hobbies and consolidate self-confidence and responsibility. We can say, American parents give the key of the door to children instead of opening the door for the children.

Second, American parents think play and game are very important. They think play is the most important thing when children are young. In American, children take part in all kinds of activities; do a lot of outdoor exercises. There are a lot of good places for them to do exercises. On the weekend, parents go out for tour with children. In the process of playing, the children develop their intelligence, such as imagination, judgment, communication with other people and emotion adjusting and so on.

Chinese parents advocate the close education:

First, they ignore the importance of practical training; instead they pay attention to preaching. The requirement to children is study. All the things, including what the children can do by themselves, are done by their parents. It is the reason why Chinese children learn a lot of knowledge but can hardly do anything when they enter the society.

Second, they lack of outdoor exercises because Chinese children have endless homework. They live under the pressure of a lot of examinations. At the same time, they can’t find a good place to do outdoor exercises.

Because of different education modes, American family education and Chinese family education show different methods.

American family education methods present in four aspects:

First, children have their right to speak, in other words, they can show their opinions on family affairs. American parents inspire their children to say what they want to say.

Second, American children have right to choose, when the children start to show their ability to cognize things, they would like the children to choose by themselves. The children can choose games, books, friends, jobs and so on. American parents wouldn’t put their opinions on their children. Most of the time, their role is to lead the children to choose, or they only stand behind the children, to give them confidence.

Third, American parents can make friends with their children, they can communicate on the base of equality.

Fourth, American parents respect children’s rights of privacy.

Chinese family education methods also present in four aspects:

First, children have less right to speak, that is to say, Chinese parents require their children to obey the rules, and have few different ideas. As the American president Nixon said “The task of Chinese education system is to train children into a person who is docile, completely listen to elder generation. In this way, they lose Chinese Darwin and Einstein.”

Second, Chinese children have limited right to choose and most of them would like to do things according to parents’ willingness.

Third, Chinese parents always appear with a image of authority so their status are higher than their children at home.

Fourth, Chinese parents always destroy children’s rights of privacy. For example, their school bags are searched; diaries are peeked.

We can find that different family education methods present in different aspects. American pay attention to the right children own, but Chinese never think so.

The democratic method of education which is a kind of loose and comfortable education, and presents a great deal of advantages: For one thing, it helps to train creative ideas. Loose and comfortable conditions are the most important to stimulate children’s creativities. Under high pressure, children’s creative ideas would be constrained. On the contrary, in a happy and calm family atmosphere, children can be stimulated easily. To produce a loose and comfortable atmosphere, parents should build a relationship equaled with children. For another, it helps to form healthy personality. Children would take part in family affairs actively, to express their own opinions, stop being afraid, and be full of self-confidence and responsibility if they are given the rights of speaking, attending and choosing. In addition, this kind of relation can inspire children to share their secrets to their parents. At the same time, parents can understand children’s thoughts. It urges children to form a good personality. However, autocratic method of education presents a kind of restrained education, which constrains creation and the development of personality.