Cultural Distinctions of Chinese and American Families—Analysis of the Movies Pushing Hands & Everybody’s Fine (3)

Chapter 3 Cultural Distinctions of Chinese and American Families Based on the Two Movies

3.1 Family Culture and Value

Chinese and American people have shared plenty of similar family values, but disparities still exist in various forms. One of the most obvious differences lies in the family structures. Many factors contributing to this dissimilarity could be identified, such as different levels of economy, historical backgrounds and policies. However, the influence of Chinese culture and American culture is the most important reason for those differences.

In order to better understand the differences of Chinese and American cultures, it is necessary to make a comparison between Chinese and American family values.

The stereotyped view of the Chinese family was that of a large extended family, with several generations and immediate families all living under one roof, being a self sufficient and self-help institution for its members, providing care for the young and old. Like in the movie Pushing Hands, though father and son are separated for years, Alex still invite his father come from China to America to live with him together with his wife and little son which is the influence of Chinese culture. “The ideal Chinese family is so called big family, which might be headed by an ancient patriarch and his wife, and include their five sons and their wives, and the children of all these people, including perhaps some adult sons who already had wives, but excluding any daughters who had married out and become members of other families”. Thus three-generation families are common, four-generation families are blessed and five-generation families are truly remarkable. Additionally, in funerals of elderly people, it was conventional to write the number of generations they had spawned on funeral lanterns or the back of gravestones usually adding a couple of generations to make it sound better.). In Pushing Hands, where showed us a more modern family structure which is mixed with Chinese and American and not under the typical concept construction, however, there are many shadows of big family implication in the scene of China Town, people are getting together playing and living as they always do in China.

Chinese culture emphasizes on patriarchy and hierarchy. That explains why no two members of a Chinese family were equal in authority. Officially at least, senior generations were superior to junior generations, older people were superior to younger ones, and men were superior to women. Normatively (that is, in what most people thought of as the ideal form), a family would be headed by a man who was older or of more senior generation than anybody else. Alex, the son in Pushing Hands and his father Mr. Zhu has just give evidence to such a family structure. Father is more important than his wife, let alone she is American, “you don’t know my father, so please don’t bother our business!” as Alex yelling at Martha indicating such an ingrained idea which inflates more when facing a foreign culture contest.

Family hierarchy was very emphatically symbolized in the concept of XIAO, which is usually translated “filial subordination”. When wills clashed, it was expected (and legally enforced) that the will of a family superior should prevail over the will of a family inferior. “Traditional law held a child’s insubordination to a parent to be a capital offense, and a daughter-in-law’s insubordination to her parents-in-law grounds for divorce. Acts of heroic sacrifice in the support of one’s parents are the commonest and most important genre of Chinese moral tales”. In the movie, when Mr. Zhu decided to move out to live alone, Alex feels ashamed and regretful for not being able to meet his obligation and make up for that by visiting frequently his old father.

However, for the last two decades, Chinese families have gone through numerous dynamic changes. Although Chinese family were normatively extended, it was unusual to find a family with a truly large group of relatives living together. Typical family size in most villages is between 4 and 5 people. In modern cities, family structure is much similar to the American one, which is so called nuclear family: husband and wife living with their children. According to the 5th National Census of China in 2002, the average family size in China was 3.39 persons, decreased 1.42 from the same figure in 1973 and approaching the 3.0 figure prevailing in developed countries such as the U.S. In the movie, we can clearly judge that either Mr. Zhu or Mrs. Chen has just one child, so as migrants they are certain to feel more intense about the ethic culture.

Nevertheless, despite the undergoing transformation of Chinese family structure, the Chinese cultural influence is still impossible to deracinate: the Chinese people continue to emphasize close family links. There is a strong bond between parents, children and other family members. It is still customary that Chinese parents expect all their children to return home for the Chinese New Year Eve’s dinner and other festival celebrations, which is very resemble to the western Christmas, in Everybody’s Fine, the father wants to take the opportunity to invite his children to come over to get together in Christmas.

Having discussed Chinese family structures, attention should be turned to those of the United States. What is a typical American family like? If Americans are asked to name the members of their families, family structure becomes clear. Most American people will mention their spouse and children, if they have any, because most Americans believe a typical family structure is nuclear family, consisting of a husband, wife and their children, living in a house or apartment. Elder parents rarely live in the same home with their married sons and daughters and other close relatives such as aunts and uncles almost never do because they are not “immediate family members”. Aunts, uncles and grandparents are considered as “extended family”. In Everybody’s Fine, old Frank just live alone as showed clearly in the movie, four of his children are all have their own families, moreover, they spread all across the states being not reside in a same place.

To sum up, the American culture believes in diversity, which results in a more diverse family structure. The majority of Americans would now define family as “people who live together and love each other”. The definition of “family” has become much broader in the 1990s. On the contrary, the majority of Chinese still follow the traditional concept of family emphasizing family tradition, responsibility and filial piety. Cohabitation in China is illegal and unacceptable; and if a married-up couple decides not to have children, they will confront huge pressures from their parents and relatives and will be accused of not fulfilling the family duty on their shoulders.

3.2 Relationship between Family Members

In detail, relationship between family members could divide into two categories: the same generation, like husband and wife; different generation, like father and son. In Pushing Hands, all relationship are presented with only four characters, the director made greater efforts on modeling relationship between father and son, while in Everybody’s Fine, all the family issue is centered on father and children.

Chinese and western culture conflicts often occur in the place of family, where the daily life unfolds through, father and son; husband and wife. But cultural exchange is not the only form of cultural conflict. The different culture can also coexist peacefully, still approve to be mutually. Ang Lee has given the solution to culture conflict in Pushing Hands: compromise and approval. For Everybody’s Fine, there are also solutions with forgiveness and understanding.

Family conflicts in the film focus on conflict between parents and children; this is the contradiction of traditional Chinese culture with modern Western culture. Ang Lee still sought solutions from Chinese traditional culture. He was looking for coordination from Taoism, Buddhism and family values within Western and Chinese ideas and methods then adopted the traditional idea "harmony with difference". "Harmony with difference" comes from the Analects of Confucius, "The gentlemen are different but harmony, flunkies are all the same". It is evident that Ang Lee's compromise in delivering the concept and cultural identity is a combination of tradition culture and modern wisdom. Therefore, family conflicts in the movie are resolved through compromise and recognition among family members. People from different cultures and different values are all at a peaceful coexistence at the end of the movie.

Family is the tie of harmony and balance. We can see that father and son reconciliation is the promoter, old Mr. Zhu moves out but family act as a bond between father and son and maintained a close relationship within. Furthermore, the American daughter-in-law began to understand the profound meaning of “harmony with difference” and at last the family return to its placidity.

Another characteristic is, in America, families tend to live more spread out. Children move away from home earlier, and we merely see multiple generations in the same house anymore. People also tend to move to different cities and states far more easily than in other countries, which suggested obviously in Everybody’s Fine, four of old Frank’s children spread all across the States. This means that the nuclear family – parents, children, siblings are the closest. Cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents are close, but simply not meet often as “extended family”, so we never see these roles appeared in Everybody’s Fine. Though such a relationship increases independence and strength, negative effects cannot be ignored that it would lead to a greater feeling of loneliness and loss of social interaction, which can be more severe among the closest family members, in Everybody’s Fine, old Frank feels deeply grieved when informed his artist son had died, that is the loss for living separately for so long a time. And his children finally realized that it was essential and necessary to company their old father.