A group of mothers hoping to find a match for their LGBTQ children at Shanghai’s “marriage market” were expelled from the scene after onlookers bombarded them with criticism for their perceived advocacy of gay marriage.

Gathering at Shanghai’s People’s Park on May 20, the 11 mothers from across the country displayed “advertisements” for their children in an effort to find them significant others. The event’s location and date were carefully chosen, as the park is known as the city’s marriage market, where parents routinely gather with pamphlets boasting of their children’s personal information. As for the date, May 20 is China’s Valentine’s Day.

“If parents of straight people can be here, parents of gay people can also be here. I’m here to find a boyfriend for my son,” said Dong Wanwan, a mother who traveled 1,200 kilometers to Shanghai from Shenzhen. According to Thepaper.cn, this is the first time that parents of gay children publicly tried to join the marriage market.

Though Dong’s opinion was welcomed by a few onlookers, most parents at the scene strongly opposed her stance, with some criticizing the mothers as “fraudsters who are doing illegal things.” The mothers were thrown out of the park by police, who said their activity constituted an “advertising” event since they were also hanging educational flyers with company logos, Thepaper.cn reported.

“Lack of registration has always been used as an excuse to stop LGBTQ groups from advocating for their rights in public. The truth is, even if we tried to register such an event, our request could be easily turned down. For instance, we tried to register a LGBTQ pride event last year, but local authorities refused our request, telling us that the event went against ‘traditional values,’” Zheng Meng, a Beijing-based LGBTQ activist, told the People’s Daily Online.

“This unsuccessful attempt shows that LGBTQ groups’ rights are not guaranteed in China, and discrimination against sexual minorities remains a severe social problem that should not be neglected,” Zheng added.

Supportive parents

“I think the parents are trying to promote the legislation of gay marriage in China. Attaining marriage equality for gay men and women in China is what parents of LGBTQ youth have been working toward over the past few years,” said Xiao Yao (pseudonym), a mother from Wuhan who recognizes the de facto marriage of her son to his partner.

Xiao is a supporter of PFLAG (Parents, Friends and Families of Lesbians and Gays) China, a NGO established in 2008 by Wu Youjian, the country’s first parent to openly support China’s gay and lesbian community. According to Xiao, more and more parents of LGBTQ children in China are accepting their children’s lifestyle and sexual orientation, as well as promoting LGBTQ rights.

“I love my son despite his sexual orientation. Many gays in China are forced to marry women they don’t love, which causes both partners pain. I strongly support the legalization of gay marriage,” said Xiao.

Xiao is not alone in this cause. Ever since the Chinese Society of Psychiatry declassified homosexuality as a mental disorder in 2001, parents, activists and experts have been trying to promote the legalization of gay marriage in the country. In 2003, Li Yinhe, a well-known human rights activist, put forward the first proposal about gay marriage at the annual meetings of the country’s lawmakers and political advisors, drawing public attention to the issue.

“I hope my son can get married to his beloved, and I hope the law can protect their marriage, offering them the same rights as their heterosexual counterparts,” said Xiao.

Public Discrimination

The events at People’s Park have elicited a mixed reaction online. Under the hashtag “GayMatchingmakingCorner,” which had garnered over 6.4 million page views as of press time, many netizens have voiced their support for the parents, hailing their actions as “illuminating and brave.”

“I have tears in my eyes when I read this. We are all human beings; why can’t gay people enjoy the same rights as the rest of us do? Why should we judge people just because of their sexual orientation?” one netizen wrote.

At the same time, many opponents of gay marriage denounced the incident, arguing that homosexuality is degrading and unacceptable. According to a survey conducted at People’s Park by Rela, an app for lesbians, only 5 percent of onlookers supported the mothers’ advocacy, while 50 percent believed homosexuality is abnormal, as gay people cannot produce offspring without outside intervention.

Public discrimination is a primary reason why many Chinese LGBTQ individuals choose not to disclose their true orientations. According to a 2016 UNDP report on China’s LGBTQ groups, less than 5.5 percent of respondents were fully out of the closet, and only 14.6 percent had decided to tell their families about their sexual orientation.

According to Zheng, the most common form of discrimination against LGBTQ people in China is being warned to watch their appearances and mannerisms, while verbal abuse and pressure to enter heterosexual relationships are also very common.

“The public still holds a backward attitude toward accepting gay people, let alone gay marriage. Educating the public is a priority to eliminate sexual discrimination in China,” said Xiao.