“The children are ill, why can’t you stay home taking care of them?” ”The report is not done yet, and you have to call for leave again?”…All working moms have probably heard similar words from their family and their boss. With China’s new two-child policy and the increasing competition in workforce, many women are facing the dilemma balancing their work life and family life.

The first female US Secretary of State Madeleine Albright once said, “I tried to figure out how to be a good mother, because as every mother here knows, every woman's middle name is Guilt.” To take care of the children who fall ill, or to attend an important meeting? To tell kids a bed story, or to make some improvement on the slides for work? Each choice a woman makes shows the conflict between a woman’s role as mother and her role in career. Every working mom wants to be both soft and tough, but the fact may be what Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg said in her book Lean In, that having it all perhaps is “the greatest trap ever set for women”.

No one can owns all s/he wants. Facing the lack of time to do everything one wants, the career moms shall make their choice to prioritize in order to balance themselves between completion and perfection. Man shall also fill in their wife’s position in the family as needed and provide more support for woman. Most importantly, the society shall give working moms more tolerance and convenience.

(This commentary is from the editorial board of the People's Daily)