There has been a lot of laughter at my expense of late and perhaps even a hint of pity, on account of my marriage. Don't concern yourselves, we're happy, but that hasn't stopped the man who writes under the pen name Brother Cui in North America.
He is rumored to be a part-time comedian in the US but is certainly a huge hit on the domestic Twitter-like service Sina Weibo, where one of his many posts humorously identifies some of the cultural differences that Western men like me are required to reconcile after marrying a Chinese woman.
He suggests that the typical Chinese tiger wife schedules her foreign husband's life with such military precision that we really should salute her. He bets that she likes to put plastic covers on new products in order to keep them looking new, though the covers are irritating, collect dust and yellow with age. He also knows that wages are the sole property of the Middle Kingdom matriarch. We males, on the other hand, may be given "pocket money" but just as often are cashless — a bit like the Queen of England.
But there's more, much more than Brother Cui knows. For instance, my wife insists I drink warm rather than cold water. When asked why, she cannot explain. (My elementary research suggests it's something to do with the spleen and a mysterious life force called qi.) On similar grounds, the kids and I have to sneak off and eat ice creams in the summer, or risk her wrath.
And while we're on the subject of food, I believe that you should only eat as much as you need, so I sometimes don't finish everything on the plate. This is a sin as far as my wife is concerned. But when it comes to banquets, ordering too much food is par for the course. And don't get me started on salads. Her opinion is that raw food just isn't good for you and it's not civilized. My feeling is, natural is best.
First alpine rail gets midnight maintenance