Liu Yang (pseudonym) cried when he found out his mother was infected with the human immunodeficiency virus (HIV). Back in 2004, the then 12-year-old had no idea what exactly HIV was. But Liu knew several people in his village had died from the virus, and was afraid his mother would also leave him forever.

Liu's mother contracted HIV from selling blood to illegal vendors. She had wanted to earn extra money for her family, but had no idea her decision would turn out to be such a disaster. Luckily, her husband and other family members were not infected.

"For a long time, I felt inferior to other children because of my family. It's only after I went to college that my sense of inferiority weakened," Liu told Metropolitan.

Even children who are healthy face more challenges from the poverty and social discrimination if one of their parents has HIV/AIDS.

Within the family, their parents keep a physical distance from their children out of exaggerated concern for their children's health. Many children feel their parents are overreacting, and indeed doctors would agree. But this distance doesn't always have a negative influence on the relationship between parent and child. Sometimes the illness can foster a family with more affectionate bonds.

Families torn apart

Chen Shuowen (pseudonym) learned his parents both had full-blown AIDS when he was 9. He was too young to understand how serious the disease is. Two years later, Chen's father died after his health worsened from a common cold.

"My father got AIDS from selling blood and then passed the disease on to my mother," said Chen, now aged 22 and studying at university. One parent infecting another parent is quite common. The Chinese Center for Disease Control and Prevention reported in 2013 that around 90 percent of people infected with HIV/AIDS contracted the disease via sexual transmission.

After his father's death, Chen, the only male member in the family, had to grow up quickly to lead the family. "Due to disease, my mother is weak. But I was too young to earn a living. My mother had to work in the fields. The biggest difficulty I face is poverty. We live very frugal lives," said Chen, who hopes to find a good job after graduating to support his family.

Liu said his parents' relationship deteriorated after his mother was diagnosed with HIV/AIDS. It wasn't until nearly six months later that his father accepted the grim reality.

"[My mother getting HIV/AIDS] was a disaster beyond my imagination. I felt my world was falling apart back then," said Liu.

Liu tried to be strong, but his family was dealt a further blow when his elder sister dropped out of middle school to support his studies.

"If my sister wasn't born in our family, she could have had a better life and found a better husband," said Liu, who believes that his brother-in-law from a single-parent family is not good enough for his sister.

Social stigma

Liu recalled his mother stopped sitting at the dinner table when guests visited their home, which isn't unusual among families with HIV/AIDS patients.

According to a 2008 survey by UNAIDS, the joint United Nations Program on HIV/AIDS, more than 64 percent of 6,000 respondents said they were unwilling to live with AIDS patients and 47.8 percent were unwilling to eat with the patients.

Liu doesn't talk openly about the fact his mother has AIDS because of the social stigma against HIV/AIDS patients, which he believes wouldn't exist if people had a greater understanding about the disease.

Liu studies in the medical department at his college. Once he tried to bring up the subject of HIV/AIDS with his classmates, who thought it could be transmitted via mosquito bites.

"I was shocked when hearing their conversation. Even people who study medicine are ignorant about HIV/AIDS. How can I tell people that my mother is an AIDS patient?" Liu said.

Many children who have a parent with HIV/AIDS don't continue their studies, let alone speak about their situation at school. A UNAIDS report in 2009 found that in China 9.1 percent of children from families in which a parent has HIV/AIDS drops out.

The Yangcheng Evening News, a daily based in Guangdong Province, reported on October 22 that a child was asked by a kindergarten in Hunan Province to drop out because her parents were suspected HIV/AIDS patients. Only after the parents, neither of whom had the disease, visited the local education bureau was the child finally guaranteed the right to attend the kindergarten.


Caring parents, caring children

Lin He (pseudonym), an HIV/AIDS patient, told Metropolitan that she felt sorry for her two sons because her illness had brought them too much pressure and discrimination.

During a phone interview with Metropolitan, 47-year-old Lin sobbed intermittently. "I didn't dare tell anyone when I found out my diagnosis [in 2000]. At that time, there were no good treatments available," she said.

Lin is worried about her sons' future, and said she didn't want to be a burden for them.

"I don't have house for them, and I worry that their girlfriends may not accept them if they know I have AIDS," said Lin.

Xi Wang (pseudonym), a mother-of-three with AIDS, said that she particularly worries about her children's health.

Xi was infected after selling her blood, a practice that earned her 40 yuan ($6.60) per time. She doesn't allow her children to donate blood out of safety concerns.

"I don't express my love towards my children, but I would like for other parents to care for them. I don't place high expectations on my children. I only hope that they can take good care of themselves and be healthy," Xi told Metropolitan.

Both Xi and Lin admitted that they keep greater physical distance from their children to be extra cautious. Chen recalled that his mother once accidentally cut her finger while making dinner. She not only put on a Band-Aid, but also wrapped her whole hand with cloth, and finished cooking using only one hand.

Liu used to be afraid of his mother's death, but now he is growing more accepting its inevitability. "Life is becoming better. I appreciate every minute I spend with my mother," said Liu.

Hope for a brighter future

Kong Zhouzhou, Beijing office manager of the Chi Heng Foundation, a Hong Kong-based charity that helps keep children from HIV/AIDS families in school, told Metropolitan that these children are often more sensitive to the outside world and have a deeper affection for their parents.

"About half of the children I have come across have told me that they want to be doctors to cure their parents," said Kong.

Kong noted that most children they assist choose to stay in big cities rather than return to their hometown.

"On one hand, we really hope that these children can return back to help build their hometown. On the other hand, those rural places don't have many good job opportunities for well-educated people. I can understand the children's choice [staying in big cities]," said Kong.

Chen, a mechanical engineering major, has one year left before he graduates from university.

"I want to offer a better life for my family. But in the long term, considering high housing prices in Shanghai, I'll retreat to a second- or third-tier city after making enough money and gaining enough work experience in Shanghai," said Chen.

Kong said things have improved gradually in recent years for HIV/AIDS families, which can now get financial assistance from the government and subsidized treatment at some hospitals. More companies are also offering help for children from HIV/AIDS families, said Kong.

"Society tends to link HIV/AIDS with immorality, which causes a great deal of trouble for children from affected families. In future, we must remove the stigma attached to HIV/AIDS," said Kong.