Because of the high, one-sided costs, more parents are seeking this kind of balance, with the bride's family paying a larger "dowry" and sometimes cooperating with the bridegrooms parents in paying the down payment on an apartment. Sometimes the material requirements of a woman and her parents price her out of the market.
"Today there are so many 'leftover' older, unmarried girls in Shanghai and some missed their golden opportunity for a good marriage all because the bridegroom couldn't afford an apartment," says Wu Yongjie, a retired worker with a 38-year-old son.
The man in question is a marketing manager at an international company and several girls have showed interest in him. All of the young women are over 30 years old and it's difficult for them to find a husband since men typically want younger women.
The man's father has died and the family cannot afford another apartment for their son's marriage.
"But this doesn't matter, since some girls are willing to share the down payment and mortgage with him," says the mother. "I think this is the right way to go for love and marriage. We shouldn't let an apartment and so-called bride price block the way to happiness."
As a young woman ages, her family's material requirements for the bride tend to fall.
"When my daughter was under 28, I insisted that the boy who would marry my princess must own a downtown apartment," says Chen Yinuo, a retired primary school teacher. "Because of this requirement, she dumped her former boyfriend but now she is 32" and known by the disparaging term "left-over."
Now her mother is eager for her to wed. "I am so eager for a man to walk into her life, whether he has an apartment or not," says Chen. "Now I regret my previous demands. Looking back, her former boyfriend was quite a good boy. I feel dreadful that it was I who forced my daughter into such a 'leftover' situation."
Even if the survey results make Shanghai girls the envy of others, all that money and apartment cannot make for a happy marriage.
"The amount of the bride price doesn't guarantee the quality of a marriage," says Feng Yalan, a local psychologist. "But if the bride's family thinks it's a prerequisite, then they can try their luck. After all, it's better to solve problems before marriage and not leave potentially destructive issues to fester."
In China there are 117 boys born for every 100 girls, so girls are in high demand.
Maybe bachelors and their families who are wracking their brains to afford a wife ought to go to Chongqing Municipality, where the cost is nearly zero.
Controversial audition of 'blind date with rich'
Feedback
RSS
