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Tiger Mom's tough love worked!

(Mail Online)    13:54, January 28, 2016
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When Amy Chua's memoir, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, was first published in 2011, the controversial book had Western parents up in arms.

Many chastised the Chinese-American mom, 53, claiming that her perfection-demanding parenting tactics must be damaging her daughters, Lulu and Sophia Chua-Rubenfeld.

But Lulu, 20, and Sophia, 23, are now grown up, off at their respective Ivy League schools, living seemingly well-adjusted adult lives - and, they told The Telegraph, they wouldn't raise their own children any other way.

Tigers, the next generation: Tiger Mom Amy Chua's daughters Sophia (left) and Lulu (right) now say they plan to raise their own kids the same way.

Tough cookie: The 53-year-old came under fire for her book, Battle Hymn of a Tiger Mother, which detailed her strict parenting techniques.

The self-labeled Tiger Mother's book mostly made headlines for describing her parenting style. Amy, a Yale law professor, explaining in the book how she expected the best from her kids - much like what her own Chinese immigrant parents expected from her.

'They demanded total respect and were very tough with my three younger sisters and me. We got in trouble for A minuses, had to drill math and piano every day, no sleepovers, no boyfriends,' Amy wrote on her website.

But while the book delves into some of the ways she disciplined and pushed her own kids - like making Lulu play violin for up to six hours a day - it also details how one parenting style doesn't fit all, which she learned when Lulu, rebelled.

Still, many people - including several who didn't read the book, but saw it discussed online or in newspapers - attacked Amy, charging that she was abusive and setting her kids up to be messed-up adults.

The rules: Her daughters (pictured in 2011) were made to work hard, get good grades, and spend hours a day practicing musical instruments.

Wouldn't change it: But both say that their parents were supportive, too, and they had happy childhoods.

Her kids, though, insist that's not really how it was.

'Everyone talks about my mother threatening to throw my toys on the fire, but the funny thing is that was not a major memory,' said Sophia, a Harvard graduate and Yale law student, referencing an anecdote from the book. 'I remember my childhood as happy... I am not scared of my mom and never have been. It was my dad [law professor Jed Rubenfeld] who I was much more afraid of disappointing.

'It was always unequivocally clear in my mind that my parents were on my side, no matter what,' she went on. 'They did have high expectations of me, but because they had the confidence that I could do amazing things.'

That isn't to say that there weren't downfalls, though - especially after Amy's book was published and ignited a media firestorm.

Lulu, who is now a sophomore art history major at Harvard, recalled an unfortunate incident that occurred during her freshman year.

Passing it on: Amy (far right) and her siblings were raised with the same strict rules by her Chinese immigrant parents.

Dedicated: Sophia, the eldest daughter, graduated from Harvard (left) and is attending Yale Law School; she is also a second lieutenant in the military (right)

'I was in the library when my friend called me over to her computer to show me that her upcoming lecture was on the subject of my childhood,' she said. 'They were holding an entire seminar on how my personality had responded to my mother’s parenting style - and the professor had never even met me!'

If he had, she implied he might be able to report that Amy's parenting style didn't have the negative impact so many people claimed it would. Lulu and Sophia said that there family is close, and though their parents were strict, they were supportive, too.

In fact, they're more laid-back than the moms and dads of some of their classmates, who are still cracking the whip while they're away at college.

'I have come across Harvard students who tell me, "My grade wasn’t good enough. I can’t go home for Thanksgiving",' said Sophia.

Their parents would never impose such a punishment - especially now that they're out on their own. Lulu said that since they've gone off to college, their mom has been much more hands-off, telling them that her job is done.

Ivy League: After graduating from high school, Lulu went on to Harvard as well, and is now a sophomore studying art history.

That meant that the two found more freedom once they were out of the house. When she was Harvard, Sophia had a boyfriend, went to parties, and generally had fun, enjoying more down time.

Lulu can also be found living a regular college student's life, too, making burritos at 4am and attending football games. Of course, she still studies - and has even been published in the National Book Review - but her life seems to be a balance of work and play.

Their success and seamless transition into adulthood may be why both of the young women continue to take down their mom's haters, with Sophia writing a letter in the New York Post in 2011 saying that she was glad to have been raised the way she was - despite the fact that it was 'no tea party'. In fact, she said, that strict parenting made her more independent.

'No outsider can know what our family is really like,' she wrote. 'They don’t hear us cracking up over each other’s jokes. They don’t see us eating our hamburgers with fried rice. They don’t know how much fun we have.'

She and Lulu also both told the Telegraph that they plan to raise their own children the same way. For the most part.

'I don’t think what we should take from tiger parenting that every kid needs to become a violin prodigy or get into Harvard,' Sophia explained. 'But when it comes to smaller issues like, "You won’t get every toy you want until your grades improve", or "You can’t quit the team because you lost two games in a row", then I believe tiger parenting does have its place.'

(For the latest China news, Please follow People's Daily on Twitter and Facebook)
(Editor:Kong Defang,Bianji)

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