How to date someone is not such a common question, but it is a science - one that plenty of people still haven't quite mastered. For those of you who still remain single, have you ever asked yourself, "Why doesn't the one I love, love me back?" or "Why do I always fail at dating?" And this common one: "What can I do to make myself more attractive?" Actually those techniques were explained many years ago.
Two books called How to conquer the beautiful girl and How to conquer the handsome boy, first published in 1989, attracted people's attention this month thanks to a netizen who discovered them. After seeing uploaded images of the covers and some content of those books on social networks, netizens quickly passed them along to friends calling them "wonder books."
With simple drawings and easy-to-understand language, the books explain in detail techniques boys and girls can use to be more attractive. The 1980s' style cover, the simple and funny cartoons they contain and the wide-range of advices given are all part of the charm. The high number of people reposting it proves what a hot topic it is online, and many have claimed "If we had known this earlier, we could have made fewer detours!"
How to be more attractive
"When you are actively approaching a girl, inevitably they will have some hesitation about whether they should approach you as well. They have a complex feeling in mind and maybe their reflections will be frigid and cold. That's just because they don't want to leave a frivolous and easy-to-get impression on you. So don't back down if a girl is being cold toward you." These are the opening words in the chapter called "Her frigidity is only a mask" of How to conquer a beautiful girl.
This book contains several chapters that cover most of the possible problems a gentleman may meet when he tries to pursue a lady. From what kind of qualities a woman desires most from a suitor, to how a gentleman ought to behave when with a woman.
In the book How to conquer a handsome boy, it also provides advice to help a lady cope with various situations, like how to be sexier, how to create and seize opportunities, and where are the best places to approach men.
But are the methods effective, as many netizens claim, in helping to make "fewer detours," since they were published three decades ago?
Ye Qingcheng, a relationship expert and a writer, thinks that the methods provided in the books are still practical. Although some parts may be out of date, like how to approach a girl. People in the present have better methods and better books. However, "the basic rules are still the same and are effective, like being natural and graceful and being cautious when mentioning sex-related topics, those rules will always work and won't be out of date," said Ye.
Old truth for new generations
Finding a mate has long been a topic in Chinese society, and people seem to have increasing difficulties finding one. Take a look at the various popular dating shows broadcast on Chinese televisions and the trend is quite obvious. Getting married at a young age and carrying on the family line is still a highly valued Chinese tradition. But the large population doesn't help to solve the problem.
Now the words written 34 years ago, which didn't get much attention at that time, have come into the picture and joined the dating platforms to solve the youngsters' dating problems.
"There is something missing in China's education. We always focus on teaching teenagers to learn, but we don't teach them how to be a true person, how to deal with people. Although the sexual education has been acknowledged to be necessary for adolescents, how to deal with relationships still hasn't been settled," said Ye. In her opinion, the lack of knowledge and education in this area is one of the reasons that these old guide books have gained so much attention today.
According to Ye, the education about social intercourse and relationships should be provided from everyone's childhood. The failure in relationships will be like a shadow covering over people's hearts and will result in an increasing number of leftover women and men.
In speaking with the Global Times, Ye also mentioned an interesting scene in the movie Harry Potter. Although it's a film for children, the female characters went to a class that is especially for girls. "We should have that kind of class as well, to teach female students how to be a woman, to teach male students how to be a man."
A joke online says, "our parents didn't permit us to date in school or at university; still they want us to get married soon after graduation. How can this happen?" This a joke used by those who have this problem to mock themselves, but it does reflect one of the biggest concerns among Chinese young people today.
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