Get a man if you can’t be one

English>>China Society

Editor's Pick

By Lisa Lee (Global Times) 09:39, October 14, 2013

Email|Print|Comments

twitter

facebook

Sina Microblog

Yeon Woo Ji, a famous physical fitness instructor in Korea, who has pretty face and strong muscles.(File Photo)

I have been strong ever since I broke up with my ex-boyfriend about two years ago. I have enjoyed being single and managed to ignore affectionate couples around me. I have even found myself to be capable of living alone by handling home repairs and carrying heavy shopping bags home. Sometimes I feel lonely, but most of the time I feel happy and free. However, that all ended one night about three weeks ago.

I had just eaten a midnight snack and was lying in bed playing with my cell phone when I heard a strange noise at the door. Someone appeared to be trying to break in.

I felt my face becoming pale and my heart beating faster. I crept to the door and saw through the peephole that the motion-activated light was on outside. Someone was definitely out there. I suddenly felt alone and vulnerable.

My fingers trembled as I dialed the 110 emergency services hotline. When an operator answered my call, I barely recognized the sound of my own terrified voice. The noise at my door was still there. It sounded like the intruder was trying to pick my door lock. I began crying.

Silence returned after about two minutes, but I was still too scared to calm down. A police officer came later and said there was no sign that anyone had tried to break in. He comforted me by sharing his suspicion that a fumbling drunk had mistaken my apartment for his own.

I still couldn't sleep after the policeman left, so I began calling some male friends hoping that one of them might offer to come over and protect me for the rest of the night. Alas, two of them had their cell phones turned off, another wasn't in Beijing and yet another was with a girl in his apartment. I had never felt so scared and helpless, so I stayed up until dawn.

My intrepid spirit and confidence of living alone was thoroughly destroyed that night. In the weeks since the incident, I have checked (and double-checked) that my door is locked each night. Even the quietest sound spooks me.

Sadly, I've realized that I'm not as strong or brave as I thought.

I used to compare myself as a man in terms of independence, but no longer keep up this charade. My friends advise me that the best solution is to get a man rather than try to be a man. Reluctantly, I'm starting to agree with them.

The ideas expressed are those of the author alone, and do not represent the position of the Global Times nor People's Daily Online.

（Editor：GaoYinan、Chen Lidan）